I want to go to sleep and not wake up in the morning.
But that won’t happen. I’ll go to bed as I always do. Have dreams about horror and stupid selfish suffering and wake up in another day of suffering.
The moments are beautiful and full of love but the self is isolated and full of loathing.
To be the best is the only test that will relieve the desire to destroy.
I’ll stay true because only you made me happy when all was gone.